I love thursdays

This is my weigh in day.  I especially love it if I know that I had a good week, but mostly love it because I get up earlier than normal and have some extra time to myself.  I get up at 5:45 and go to my WW meeting for 6:15.  It is over by 6:45 and I am usually home by 7.  I then can go for a run with my doggy and if I am really lucky still have a few minutes to eat breakfast alone.  This morning I had to go to a meeting at work for 7:45 so I didn't have time for a workout.  I did my workout this evening at 8 pm instead.  It was still wonderful, but not the same.  I love working out in the morning because it's done and I don't have to think about when I am going to have time for it the rest of the day.  I don't dread working out, I actually like it.  I just like getting it done right away so I can go with the flow the rest of the day and not stress about fitting it in.

About my weigh in this week... I am down 2.4 lbs.  I know I should be excited about this, but it is hard.  I did really well this week with points and activity.  It just stinks that I missed a couple weeks and I should be much lower by now.  Oh well.  I am going to take it and keep on going.  I would love love love to have another good week and be down 10 lbs.  I am going to keep my fingers crossed.  My next goal is to be at or under 165 by 4th of July.

I was organizing and getting rid of some papers today and I came across some old weight charts of mine.  The earliest weight I found was from 2003.  I weighed 155.  From then I flucuated to 170 in 2008.  I weighed 158 in October of 2004 at my wedding.  I think I was around 155 when I ran my marathon in April of 2006.  I was 170 when I got pregnant in May 2007.  It's crazy to think it has been 7 years of me trying to lose weight on and off.  How sad.  I really hope  am going to kick this once and for all.

It feels good...

I am having a great week so far.... mentally I feel great.  I have worked out everyday and I love that.  Tonight I watched the biggest loser on the treamill and logged in 80 minutes of activity!  LOVE that treadmill!  That show is so inspiring.  The finalists look amazing.  I feel like something has clicked this week.  I am not getting ahead of myself because I've felt like I nailed it before, but this feels different.  I really  feel like I am just doing it.... for me.  We will see what Thursday's weigh in shows, but overall it doesn't matter.  Yes I do want to lose weight, but I am working on all of me inside and out and right now I feel good.  Lets hope I can keep it up.

Just do it

Quit talking about it and just do it.  I read this on a blog the other day and for some reason it home today.  I have had a bit of time to myself this weekend... much needed time.  Therefore I have had some time to really think.  If I want to live a healthy life style I need to just do it.  Simple right?  Maybe so, but I realized that I need to quit talking and start doing.

I have had a great weekend.  It helps to have time to yourself.  I read a great book -The Red Tent by Anita Diamant.  I strongly recommend this book for all women.  I got to sleep in two days in a row.  I went for 2 great runs and ate some yummy healthy food.  This is just what I needed to refresh my mind and body.  I am rejuvinated and ready to be a mom again. 

I have been reading some interesting Healthy living blogs and I'll post the links on the side. A lot of them have good recipes and meal ideas.  Check them out!

Smoothies

Smoothies are my new favorite thing.  I went for a run this morning and it was HOT.  77 degrees at 7:30 this morning.  I am not used to this yet, but I love it!!  I needed something refreshing afterward so I made this smoothie: (3 pts)

1cup frozen strawberries (picked last summer.  It's almost strawberry season again - Yay!)
1 huge handful of spinach leaves
1/2 banana
1/2 cup low fat vanilla yogurt

So Yummy!

Willpower is like a muscle...

Here is a quote I heard the other day and I like it.  "Willpower is like a muscle.  The more you use it the stronger it gets."

So I haven't been to fat class in 2 weeks.  It was very hard for me to go this morning because I knew I had gained.  I knew that if I skipped another weigh in it would be nearly impossible for me to get back on track.  I have been doing a lot of traveling the last two weeks and haven't been 100% accountable.  I gained 0.8 lbs or 1.2 lbs from my home weight. To be honest I expected more, so I'll take it and start this new week.  I took a challenge this week and took home the "community journal".  This means I have to track honestly and completely and go back to next weeks class to turn it in.  This is a good way to keep members accountable and most people who take home the journal have a good week.  Makes sense - you follow the program because you know someone is going to check up on you.  I needed this challenge this week.  I have been feeling really down lately due to the time of year.  I absolutely love this time of year because of the weather but I am dreading another summer being fat.  We are going to open the pool this weekend... that means bathing suit weather is just around the corner.  I hate summer clothes.  I would love to love them, but I can't remember the last time I felt good in a bathing suit or shorts.  I get depressed thinking about it.  I don't want to feel like this anymore...

This week I am going to work on building my willpower muscle.

Mother's day

It came and went.  I wanted to post about being a mom since it is the biggest part of who I am.  I love being a mom.  I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I never knew how much until I had a child.  It is the most amazing, heart-filling, and challenging thing ever.  No one tells you how hard it is going to be and you will not ever understand how incredible it is until you experience it yourself.  I only have one child at this time and he can be very trying but I wouldn't trade it for a second.  He is helping me to learn patience which is a trait of mine that I have very little of.  He is helping me to slow down and enjoy the little things in life.  It is hard for me to not get frustrated when the house is messy, the laundry isn't done, and I don't know what to make for dinner...  I need to remind myself to sit down and play with him.  The chores will wait forever, but he will grow up and not want to play with me anymore.  That makes me sad and reminds me to slow down and forget about the lesser important things. 

Being a mom defines me in so many ways.  Every single decision I make involves my family.  I also know that I need to take care of myself first.  "A happy mom is a happy house" as the hubs always says.  This is so true.  I need to lead a healthy example for my child.  Everything is more manageable when I feel good about myself.  I also know that  my infertility issues can be weight related too.  I would love to have a big family and as of right now this just isn't happening.  I know that some things are out of my control and I have learned to accept that.  I still can do my part and take care of me.

Challenges

So we went to a birthday party last night and I was a little worried about the food there.  It was hosted by some friends of ours that we hang out with quite often.  They are known for grilling brats and burgers.  The sides are always store bought potato salad or pasta salad and chips and dip.  When we have BBQ's we usually offer to bring a dish to pass.   I usually bring something healthy like a salad since there probably won't be anything healthy there.  This time we were told not to bring anything because it was a birthday party.  I should have eaten before I went.  They served brats, italian sausage, and burgers.  (the burgers were premade by the grocery store with chunks of bacon and cheese mixed in the meat.)  They had white buns and ketchup and mustard as condiments. NO VEGGIES.  For sides there was baked beans, watermelon, jello, pasta salad,  potato salad, crackers with cheese and sausage, and potato chips and dips.  SERIOUSLY!  I could have cried.  I had a burger because I figured that would be a better choice than a 12 pt brat.  (Yes - fat Wisconsin brats are 12 points with out the bun.)  Then I had a white "sticks to the roof of your mouth" bun with some ketchup.  I had about a 1/4 cup of baked beans and some watermelon.  The hubs who was looking out for me asked if there was any onions, lettuce or tomato to put on the burgers.  My dear friend the host just laughed and said that the ketchup is made out of tomatoes....  I am not looking forward to summer cookouts.  People in Wisconsin have brats and cheese curds as their main staples for cookouts.  We are invited to another cook out tonight hosted by a different family in our group of friends.  I asked them what they were serving and you guessed it.... Brats and burgers.  I am eating before I go this time.

Mind over matter

I didn't make it to fat class yesterday.  According to my scale I lost .4 lbs.  I was quite shocked by that actually.  I didn't have a very good week.  This morning I stepped on the scale and I am up 1 lb from last week.  That is probably more accurate.  Either way I am not going to dwell on my poor choices of last week and move on.  I found some extra motivation after visiting my sister this past week.  She looks AMAZING!!!!  I am so proud of her.  I hope to find her strength and determination sometime on this journey.  My goal this week is to be under 175.  I have to step up the exersize this week.  I went grocery shopping yesterday and bought lots of healthy food.  That was my problem last week - no food in the house which leads to poor choices.  I can do this. Mind over Matter.