Sunday, August 1, 2010
I had a tough day at work on Thursday and I want to tell you about it. I am not one to take work home with me. So much that I often forget names of patients I took care of yesterday. Sad really, but true. Thursday I took care of a sweet family that I will NEVER forget. I was supposed to work my usual 3-11 shift but my boss called me at 8:30 and asked me if I could come in "like now." I said sure and would be there in an hour. Then she told me that my assignment would be to take care of a full term demise. (A stillborn). Umm could I change my mind and say that I was unavailable?... I moaned and growned a bit, but went in. The poor girl came in in labor that morning all excited because she was having contractions. She was 2 days past her due date for her second child. The nurse that admitted her was unable to find a heartbeat. He baby boy was no longer alive. She knew for sure she felt him move on Tuesday night. "He was doing the olympics in there." I took care of her through her labor and delivery. She delivered a beautiful boy 8 lbs 2 oz. He was perfect in every way. Just not alive. It was the most heart wrenching thing. He had his umbilical cord wrapped tightly around him 4 times. At first she didn't want to see him so I took him out of the room. I cleaned him up and dressed him in a little blue outfit and hat. A couple hours later I sat and held her hand and told her how perfect he was and that she really should hold him. It would be her only chance. I brought him into the room and handed him to her. I held her hand while she sobbed. It was so heartbreaking. I cried with her and her family. Today I went to the wake. It is amazing how strong people can be. I believe that having a strong faith that some things are out of our hands is the only way through things like this. As hard as days like this are for me, it is much harder for the patient. It is days like this why I know I am a nurse. I love my job even when it is terrible. Today I am counting my blessings.