Oh to be alone. I really really need time to myself to be sane and happy. I have always known this about myself, but it is more and more clear lately. It is not that I am not grateful for my wonderful husband or my adorable child but I need some time with me. Now that the hubby is laid off he is around all the time. We are sharing one vehicle, one cellphone, and one computer. I rarely even get to drive to work by myself!! I miss Target and TJ Maxx. I miss feeling secure financially. This is a great learning experience for us. I have learned that I enjoy being alone occasionally. This is also one of my overeating triggers though too. I think I get so excited to be alone that I react by eating. Take tonight for example. The hubs went out with a friend for a couple hours. As soon as he left I went to the cupboard for a snack. I had a (one) cool ranch dorito - YUCK, threw those away (plus it was stall). Then I opened the bag of baked cheetohs. I had a handful. NOT Satisfying. Then I ate a reeses peanut butter cup. Then I thought a bit about why I was eating. I was so happy to be alone. The kiddo was in bed and I could have some time to myself. I curled up on the couch with a blanket and read my book. That was more satisfying than anything I put in my mouth. Why do I eat like this? I don't know. It's my first instinct. I am working on it and am so proud of myself for stopping when I did. It is so important to spend some time with your thoughts and emotions and get to know YOU. I am not good at this, but I am learning. I went for a 4 mile run today and it was heavenly, but not long enough. I didn't want it to end. It felt SO GOOD. I should've kept going but I didn't. When I got home I was irritable because I wasn't done spending time with myself. A lesson to me: Schedule more ME time in my days. Our lives are under a lot of stress right now and it is so important to remain healthy. My goal for August is to put aside a bit of time for me every day. I'll keep you posted.
On another note: I have lost more weight since I quit WW than I did in the last month or so that I was going. I have been listening to my body and eating what it needs. Interesting how this is. I hope I can keep it up. I think August will bring good things.