Saturday, July 31, 2010

Craving alone time...

Oh to be alone.  I really really need time to myself to be sane and happy.  I have always known this about myself, but it is more and more clear lately.  It is not that I am not grateful for my wonderful husband or my adorable child but I need some time with me.  Now that the hubby is laid off he is around all the time.  We are sharing one vehicle, one cellphone, and one computer.  I rarely even get to drive to work by myself!!  I miss Target and TJ Maxx.  I miss feeling secure financially.  This is a great learning experience for us.  I have learned that I enjoy being alone occasionally.  This is also one of my overeating triggers though too.  I think I get so excited to be alone that I react by eating.  Take tonight for example.  The hubs went out with a friend for a couple hours.  As soon as he left I went to the cupboard for a snack.  I had a (one) cool ranch dorito - YUCK, threw those away  (plus it was stall).  Then I opened the bag of baked cheetohs.  I had a handful.  NOT Satisfying.  Then I ate a reeses peanut butter cup.  Then I thought a bit about why I was eating.  I was so happy to be alone.  The kiddo was in bed and I could have some time to myself.  I curled up on the couch with a blanket and read my book.  That was more satisfying than anything I put in my mouth.  Why do I eat like this?  I don't know.  It's my first instinct.  I am working on it and am so proud of myself for stopping when I did.  It is so important to spend some time with your thoughts and emotions and get to know YOU.  I am not good at this, but I am learning.   I went for a 4 mile run today and it was heavenly, but not long enough.  I didn't want it to end.  It felt SO GOOD.  I should've kept going but I didn't.  When I got home I was irritable because I wasn't done spending time with myself.  A lesson to me: Schedule more ME time in my days.  Our lives are under a lot of stress right now and it is so important to remain healthy.  My goal for August is to put aside a bit of time for me every day.  I'll keep you posted.

On another note: I have lost more weight since I quit WW than I did in the last month or so that I was going.  I have been listening to my body and eating what it needs.  Interesting how this is.  I hope I can keep it up.  I think August will bring good things.

1 comment:

  1. One of my co-workers and I were just talking about this today. When you are a mother and a wife and working, it's easy to put yourself on the back-burner and forget to take "me" time. But taking that time helps to be a better mother and wife! Keep taking that time Kelli!